First Impressions Consulting

Growth Q&A: Etiquette Teacher Hopes to Give Busy Parents a Helping Hand

September 17, 2007 -- Rachel Stults -- The Tennessean

A new business in Franklin aims to help parents who feel they're constantly telling their kids to mind their manners. First Impressions Consulting teaches etiquette lessons to children — something owner Carol Holland says is important as technology becomes an increasingly important part of society and personal interactions happen less and less. She's hoping to teach kids everything from proper table manners to writing thank-you notes — things she says will open doors for them throughout life.

Why did you decide to open First Impressions Consulting?

My background is actually in government relations and protocol. In the first 10 years of my career, I worked for the state legislature, was a mayor's aide, worked for the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce, was a borough clerk in the Northeast. That gave me a sense of the importance of personal conduct and knowing the polite manner of government protocol and political protocol, so I'm comfortable in that realm. Thereafter, my motherhood and community involvement left me wanting to focus on children.

Why would parents need a service like this?

I think parents today are so terribly busy and we don't have Generation X (kids) — this coming up is Generation V for "virtual." Our techno society is really kind of a double-edged sword. On the one hand we have the information age. On the other hand I think we've taken a lot of interpersonal opportunities away because of that. So I think that in order not to make face-to-face communications obsolete we've got to help parents out. I'm of the same generation that thought my parents didn't know anything either, so maybe a third-party instruction may be the way to go for the future. I think parents are teaching their children minimal details such as "please" and "thank you," but there's so much more to it than that. I think it would behoove society to start paying better attention.

What exactly will First Impressions offer?

It will provide one two-hour class per week for five weeks. I have age-appropriate curriculums planned — beginner, intermediate and advanced. For example, in the elementary program, we start with "Best Foot Forward" — explaining what a first impression does and how you make a good first impression, learning how to introduce yourself, how to introduce others, learning how to carry on polite conversation, and then we move into a program on friendship and character, which is all really based on the Golden Rule. And, of course, (writing) thank-you notes is an agenda item — it's a lost art. E-mail does not take the place of a thank-you note.

Why is this type of business important here?

I have lived all over the country, and a smile works as well in California as it does in South Carolina. This is all a part of personal demeanor and poise and conducting yourself in a manner that's appealing to other people. Etiquette is indeed the key that opens doors for people in life. Sometimes it doesn't matter how many graduate degrees you have — if you pick up the wrong fork, everyone's going to notice it. It helps, I think, to give a competitive edge throughout life and in all aspects of life.

How does one teach etiquette in today's society?

I think the way I'd like to distinguish myself in the market is to have more creative, interesting methods to teach young people. I think parents do teach their children manners, but I think a program like this will help polish what parents are teaching their children. It will involve arts, crafts, role-playing. I plan to interject some humor, some pop culture that will hold their attention. I think the days of the schoolmarm teaching manners are long gone.

Did Williamson County's affluence and its focus on social events, such as the Heritage Ball and the Star Gala, play into your decision to locate your business here?

I don't think so, because most communities have that affluence. Nashville proper — Belle Meade — you've got the affluence there. While instruction and etiquette may be more of an affluent interest, I believe it's something that will equally serve disadvantaged populations. I'm hoping to enjoy some financial success and then have the luxury of maybe taking the program into schools. We are an upwardly mobile society and I do think that the Heritage Foundation and, of course, the celebrity contingent in Williamson County adds interest to my target population. Some people might see it as an elitist interest, but I do not. I think manners and knowing proper conduct really crosses class lines.

Do you think there's a market for growth with these types of businesses?

I'm not real sure. It's kind of a situation where I believe there's a need. I feel it's going to be word-of-mouth mostly that promotes the program because there is so much discretionary income that young families have, and typically it will be young families that have smaller children. I would love to eventually franchise and sell 20 franchises, but that's also a notion for the future. I am taking it one day at a time. I'm soliciting as much parental input as possible to serve the needs of the parents and kids.   

Take Time to Send Thank-You Notes

December 24, 2007 -- Vivi Hoang -- The Tennessean

After they've unwrapped their presents and savored their gifts, Christy Stouffer's kids know exactly where to head next: the family supply of stationery.

"Thank-you notes are a must when any of my four children receive gifts for birthdays, Christmas or other occasions," says the 46-year-old Centerville, Tenn., mom. "I believe that children who are fortunate to receive gifts need to know how to express gratitude and should take the time to send a written note to the giver."

If everyone heeded moms such as Stouffer, the U.S. Postal Service would be bursting at the seams with grateful, post-Christmas missives. Etiquette experts say thank-you notes are a must whenever someone's gone out of their way to do something nice for you. It's the least you can do.

"There are some things you have to make your children do for their own good, and writing thank-you notes is one of them," says Carol Holland of First Impressions Consulting in Franklin.

"It will serve them well through life. It says that you have gone to the trouble of showing your appreciation through a personal effort."

When Stouffer's kids were too young to write, she says, she'd have them dictate to her and then let them mark on the card in some way, such as with coloring or fingerprints. Now that they're older — ages 8-17 — they know the routine.

Although, she adds ruefully, she sometimes has to remind them several times before it gets done.

Stouffer practices what she preaches, too: "I write thank-you notes often — when I receive gifts, if I read a good book and want to thank the author, after I hear a special sermon or solo at church, when I go to someone's house for a meal, when our friends helped us move last year, and for other acts of kindness for which I'm extremely grateful."

Here's a few thank-you notes from Holland, who teaches etiquette courses for children ages 4-16, and Susan Fitter, Middleburg, Va.-based founder of Global Manners etiquette consulting firm.

• When should you write? Holland boils it down to three occasions: when someone gives you a gift, when you've been someone's guest or if someone has extended to you a kind gesture.

"It's never inappropriate to send a thank-you note," adds Fitter. "One of the reasons is that they're so rare these days, it makes people feel extra special."

• The type of paper you use should match the gravity of the occasion you're commemorating. The type of card you use — a fold-over or one-piece — doesn't matter, but a formal event calls for a formal piece of stationery. For a party, perhaps a playful card.

For kids who can't write, try fill-in-the-blank style stationery. Or a drawn picture will suffice.

• If Holland could have her way, all thank-you notes would be handwritten. But she realizes there are occasions when e-mail has its advantages because of its instant delivery. Holland suggests following the quick e-mail with a handwritten note.

• Make your note brief and to the point. Three or four heartfelt sentences will do the job.

Fitter suggests personalizing this formula: Use the first sentence as an introduction ("How kind of you to . . ." or "What a delightful surprise . . ."), the second sentence to make a specific observation about the gesture or gift, and the third sentence to say thanks.

• For most occasions, a note received within the week is best. (Exception: A bride has until her first anniversary to send out thank-you cards for wedding gifts.) But even if you don't meet that deadline, don't let that stop you. A late note of thanks is better than no thanks at all.

"The most impressive and polite thank you is the one issued promptly," Fitter says. "The warmth of appreciation will be reflected in your writing if the event is fresh in your mind."